"Love hurts! Love scars! Love wounds and marks...." This old song never goes out
of style because most people get to the point where they can relate to the lyrics
and sometimes sing along as they cry over a tub of ice cream after a bad break up.
Friends will try to cheer you up and eventually you will get you out of your robe
and you will stop crying over the one that got away. But deep inside, you will
still be burdened by the pain and just like everyone else who has just broke up
with their lover; you will ask....how do I move on? Some psychiatrists have given
step by step ways on how to move on from a broken heart. First...
Accept the pain and let loose of all the tears you've been trying to hold back.
As a human being, it is okay to cry when you feel like it. It is neither weakness
nor a sign of defeat to break down. Tears don't make you the loser, they only mean
that you are hurting right now and you are brave enough to express how you are feeling.
Take your time and let it all out. Tears are a form of release and can be very
relieving for someone who has been emotionally hurt. After you've finished several
boxes of tissue paper to wipe off those tears, you will see that things will seem
much clearer and you will be thinking straight once again.
Just like a boxer who has just been beaten up in the ring after a fight, you should
recuperate by staying away from the cause of pain. A good rest or retreat would help
you regain your emotional strength. Go on a quiet and relaxing vacation. Time away
from things that remind you of your ex would give you a chance to clear your mind and
realize that you are now free and can do whatever you want.
If you can, throw away or keep out of sight all the things around the house that
belonged to your ex or anything that would remind you of that person. If you are
really very angry, a good smashing and burning outdoors would definitely feel good.
Just make sure you don't disturb or pester the neighbors.
Now that all the material clutter has been disposed of, it is time you got rid of the emotional clutter as well. The fact of the matter is the real reason you are hurting is because you still love your ex. But in times when you feel that there is no more hope in getting back together, you have to learn to un-love your ex. How? Think of all the bad things your ex has done to you. Drown all the memories of your good times together by feeding your hate, as you remind yourself why you broke up in the first place.
In every break up, you can never put the blame on just one person. A good relationship survives through the efforts of both the man and the woman. When one of them cheats or falls out of love, there is a reason and most of the time the other one is to blame. Have you been too clingy, jealous, suspicious or needy? Or is it the other way around? Did you not spend enough time with your lover or were you not that attentive to his or her needs? If you realize that this is so, don't blame yourself. Forgive and make peace with yourself. You may have done some wrong for this relationship but you have to learn from the experience so your next relationship will not suffer the same fate. Love yourself more by working on your flaws and learning from your mistakes.
I know I told you to burn things that will remind you of your ex. But eventually when by
the time the wounds of the break up have healed, and eventually you cross paths with your
ex, it is best to forgive him or her and somehow be able to look that person in the eye and
smile to show that you're okay now and you've moved on.
And with that smile, only time will tell where your path will take you. Will it be in the
arms of another...or will it be love the second time around?
By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.
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