Does Your Ex Deserve a Second Chance?

Are you a "Past is past" kind of person? Or are you the kind that believes in second chances? When it comes to giving an ex a second chance, people have different views on why the answer should be a yes or a no. But the most common response that I got from all the people I asked was ".....it depends."

Why did they Break up?

Many say that the decision would depend on the reason why they broke up. Some reasons could justify the break-up, and why it had to end. Some reasons may just need time to recover from, and there may still be hope of a reconciliation. And of course, there are some good reasons not to even think of going down that road again. Let's take a closer look on why couples break up, and if there is a chance for them to get back together.

Growing out of love

Some relationships start of as exciting and passionate. But, in time, one or both may lose interest, when they see some unpleasant things about their partner. When things change in their lives, and they no longer feel happy, couples may end up calling it quits. Growing out of love is not new, and it is part of the journey to finding the right one. Being in the wrong relationship makes you realize just how it should be. And, when you find the right one, you will know the difference.

Cheating

The most common reason why couples break up, is when there is a third party involved. Trust has been broken, and most people would advise you not to give a second chance. But, some people are willing to look past the infidelity. Some even blame themselves, saying it happened because they took their partner for granted. But, look at it this way. You already know that your partner is capable of cheating, and he or she could do it again, if given the chance. I'm not saying that it would happen. But it is very likely. It's a risk you should be willing to take. Otherwise, don't.

Immaturity

Many young couples break-up, because of the most trivial of things. The constant fighting, does not mean there is no love. It just means that they are not mature enough yet to handle a serious relationship. Young love could grow into true love if given a secone chance. Maybe, if they meet again when they are more mature, and they still feel strongly for each other, then they definitely should give it another shot.

Distance

Long distance relationships are difficult, and some couples part ways because of the problems and pressures that come with it. Although, these days, there are many ways to stay virtually connected, nothing beats having the one you love by your side, when you need them the most. There will always be the temptations, and the trust issues. So, unless you are willing to go through all the trouble of this kind of relationship again, maybe you should give someone with the same zip code a chance instead.

Career Competition

It is not ideal when there is envy in a relatioship. If your partner gets threatened whenever you seem more successful, or he or she makes you feel inferior in any way, then there is a serious problem in that relationship. Partners should support each other, and be happy for each other's successes. If ego and pride get in the way of both of you having a healthy and happy life with each other, then you are better off apart.

One-Sided relationship

Some people are just selfish by nature. A relationship with this person is one-sided, and is bound to end up badly. So, if you've experienced how it was to be with someone who has been unfair to you, and did not treat you the way you should be treated, then why on earth would you want to go back there? These people may promise to change and treat you better, but that is least likely to happen. Respect yourself, and just walk away.

Financial issues

Many couples break-up because of problems with money. Whatever the reason, if both of you think that money is more important than your relationship, then maybe you are better off with someone else. If you really love each other, money matters should be discussed calmly, and shared openly.

Family or Peer Pressure

Family and friends are a big part of our lives. But sometimes they get in the way of a happy relationship. Before you get back together, both of you should learn to accept each other's friends and relatives, otherwise the problems will continue. Compromises and adjustments from both ends have to be made, to make your relationship work.

Commitment Issues

Some couples break up, when one of them wants more from the relationship, but the other, is not yet ready to commit. Expectations have to be clear to both of you. Do you see yourselves living a life together, fulfilling the same dreams and goals? If not, then there is no point in getting back together.

Dedication

Many people walk out on their relationships because they feel like they were being taken for granted by their partner. At times, people get too comfortable in a relationship that they fail to make their partners feel their appreciation and love. Once you realize this, and you both are willing to make an effort to make things right, then you definitely should give your love another chance.

Incompatibilty

Chemistry and compatibility are very important. Unfortunately, you only get to know someone really well, once you've both lived under one roof. And many couples break-up when they discover just how incompatible they are. Unconditional love is accepting your partner as a whole, flaws and all. If you can't do that, and there are things about your lover that you cannot accept, then it is best to part ways.

Forgiveness

After looking through all the reasons why you should (or shouldn't) get back with your ex, it all boils down to forgiveness. Have you forgiven your ex? Have you forgiven yourself for your failed relationship? Have your emotional wounds healed? Are you ready to go through all that again? Only you can truly tell if it is worth taking the risk or not.

Look to The Future

Try to imagine how you would want your future to be. Can you imagine a life without that person? Would life be sweeter if you were together? Is there anyone else you would rather be with? Do you see yourself growing old with that person? If you see your ex in your future, then he or she has to be in your present, right?

The most important question you have to ask is, "Do you still love him or her?" If you hesitated, or you are unsure of your answer, it is best to never look back. Close the book on that relationship, and wait for the right one for you.

But, If the answer is "yes," then swallow your pride. Take that second chance with your ex. There is no guarantee that your heart won't be broken again. But, it is better to give it another try, than to live regretting something that would've made you happy.

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo. Posted on October 19th, 2018.