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Dating without Internet

Dating without the Internet


The Internet is a world full of unending possibilities. It has touched all aspects of human life in a rather big way, be it trade and commerce, food, shelter, clothing, and even interpersonal relationships. With the use of online dating apps such as Tinder and Grindr; finding love was never so easy. You get to access a huge pool of like-minded people with similar interests and can filter out potential matches. But while some of you may get lucky and find a potential match on the very first day, others may not be that lucky.

These dating apps are a perfect example of a virtual world full of show-offs and unreal glamour, where real things and real people are often ignored. People on these apps often go by the face value and the perceptions that the profile that is in front of them and thus lose a chance and an opportunity to meet the seemingly perfect man/woman of their dreams. As such, they go by the face value and often end up landing with the wrong people. Online dating apps in many cases miss the very essence and idea of a long-term relationship. Often, there is no time spent in understanding each other before getting into a relationship. As a result, fallouts and breakups are a new normal. Some last for a few months, to a few weeks to some others for days.

So the best way to find the ideal date; is obviously to not stay indoors and find your real soulmates on unreal dating apps online. Time for some old style dating. Let’s take you a few steps closer to your perfect date, love, and a real soulmate. Read through to know how and more.


Why looking for love offline is the best?

Most of the dating apps often commit more than they can deliver. They try to convince you that many people are dying to meet you and you will get to see who are they if you buy their pricey subscriptions. And when out of sheer desperation to change your forever single status, you subscribe to them, you see those people who were dying to meet you never existed. And then what begins is the frustrating process of swiping right all the time and waiting to match. Even if some match, you seldom get someone with whom you can get talking. You can waste a lot of time, money and energy for nothing. And at times it could drain you out emotionally too.

Dating Apps Moreover, there is an increasing concern over the safety of the dating app users. All dating app users are built around strong underlying human emotions. The human emotions associated with finding a partner or an ideal date makes the users very gullible and extremely vulnerable to potential predators who can target these naive users. Some profiles can turn out to be fake and others of unscrupulous people who can dupe you in many ways. Meeting someone you met on tinder for a blind date for the first time at a suspicious time and place are signs of potential dangers. Therefore, not relying on these virtual online dating apps is advisable.

The good news though is at times these dating apps may just help you to connect you with your idea of an ideal date. However, conversion percentages are very low and hence these apps are to be used with utmost caution. As such, the best, the tried and tested and almost always, the most successful way of finding a date is the basic traditional ways.

Let’s try and uncover all possible means and ways of finding a perfect date without the internet or any of those frustrating apps.


Approach to Adopt

Before you embark on the beautiful journey of finding your perfect date by using the traditional means there are certain things that you should consider inculcating in your approach. This is like a basic preparation in making way for someone new in your life. You need to change the way you have been thinking all the while. Let’s point out some changes in your approach that will help you prepare yourself for the best and the worst. Let’s look at a few of these changes that will help you a great deal.

Meeting at ParkCome out of your cocoons; You will see some great things happening when you decide to come out of your beloved comfort zones and cocoons that you have been always staying in. The world is beautiful. Things are simpler and easier than you know. So go out break free and explore the world on your terms. Only then will you find out that things are better when seen and experienced first-hand and in real rather than through the virtual world of dating apps and social networks. Coming out of your comfort zones will end that fear of the unknown you always had in your hearts and this, in turn, will make you more confident and ready to face anybody, including your next date too.

Open Yourself to the World; Next is to start being a little more open to the world and people around you. If you have been someone who was always an introvert kind of a person never talking much to people, it's time for you to open up to people. Let people know you in and out. Yeah, there may be a handful of such people but let that handful know you fully. Being open to people will mean more people knowing you and someone interested in you can get some preliminary information before that amazing relationship begins. So, let people know about how great a person you are and what you are single and ready to mingle with someone equally great and ready to mingle as well.

Change your Attitude; You need to understand that it is okay to be single. Being desperate to get into a relationship just because you are single and everybody else you know isn’t, is not the right reason to think about a relationship. Think about getting into a relationship, if and only if you are ready for it. There may be a certain degree of commitment and involvement that every relationship requires. You need to be sure that you will be able to devote the time, energy, and most importantly the emotions that it all involves.

Avoid Prejudices and Preconceived notions; If you want to win the best person as your date you have to stop being sceptical about people. When you meet someone new meet them with clean hearts and open minds. Though physical appearance is the first thing that we all check in any person, appearances are deceptive and peripheral. They fade out with time but what makes for a long-lasting relationship is the qualities of the person. So, all that matters is what that person really is and not what they look like. And, that you can figure out only if you give any person a fair chance to express themselves without being prejudiced. Try knowing the person and you might just get along with them like never before, even if they are not the most good-looking of the lot.

Approach defined and laid out; let's look at all the possible and practical ways on the field that can help you get your ideal person; your perfect date.


Find Your Perfect Date; Ways that Work

Based on the type of person one is; ways and means of finding someone varies, some might find a date in the neighbour next door, or others might revisit and reaffirm their love for their childhood friend. Here’s a comprehensive list of all possible ways of dating without internet:


1. Narrow down your choices

You need to be very specific about the kind of people you like and whom would you like to meet. The idea is to make sure the person you want to meet is even worth your time. And hence, you need to be well aware of your own expectations. Once you are aware of what you want on your date; it gets easier for you to decide and narrow down on the kind of people you meet. Be ready with the minutest details of your expectations from your partner like their residence types, pets if any, partying preferences, drinking preferences, the sport they watch, etc. Once you are ready with your set of expectations time to find them where the good ones would be.

2. Go for morning walks, alone or with your pets

If you have a pet dog, consider taking him for a morning walk for more than one reason. You never know when you will stumble into somebody in the park that catches your eye. Even if you don’t have a pet just inculcate this habit of going for morning walks or jogs whatever you love to do. Good habits are always a preference for all kinds of people. Maybe someone has been keenly observing you every time you went out for your walk waiting for an opportunity to talk to you. Sharing a common schedule of being in the park around the same time daily allows the person to be familiar with you and when you are familiar you can initiate a conversation that may lead to greater things.

3. Pay Attention while on the go.

The park is not the only place you may find your special someone. You can find them anywhere. Pay attention to your surroundings, the people around you. Don’t be stuck to your phones and look down towards the ground always, look around and smile. And your smile might just win some hearts. If you find someone interesting, try making eye contact and if you were successful initiate a conversation. Even if it is lame and stupid, a conversation is still a conversation, to begin with, and if all goes well your new relationship will be all good to set sail.

4. Be Active at your Workplace

Nobody likes a passive and uninterested employee. If you are one of them, stop being so today. Most of us do our jobs because we are paid for them not because we love them. And that’s absolutely okay. But that is no reason to stay stuck to your computers doing almost nothing. Time to get up and participate. Do the work that you were anyways doing with a little more enthusiasm. Interact with people around and with other teams. Tell them what you think of their recent accomplishments. Be appreciative. And you will see tables turning people, mostly of the opposite sexes in your office will love your persona and charm. And then the ball is in your court to approach someone who is interested.

5. Join any form of art classes - dance, music, or any other hobby.

Apart from your workplace where you share a common office, another place where you can share something common is an art class. If you are interested in dancing you can join a dance class. If music is your thing enroll yourself for music lessons. When passionate people come together in pursuing their passions, a lot can happen. You get to meet new interesting people. And again applying the same rule of familiarity, once they know you are familiar with them because of the common aspect of music, they will be more open to you bringing in possibilities that were never there.

6. Step Out and Socialize

The best way to find your date without swiping right on dating apps endlessly is Socialising. This is no secret amongst the Gen Y(Millennials). However, with increasing stress in life and lazy lifestyles, some of you are too lazy to go out. As a result, the free passes to the rock concert rot inside your study table drawers and you lose out on yet another chance of getting your dream date. So, don't be lazy anymore, go out and socialize. Attend all kinds of events and invitations you receive. Be it a wedding, or a school reunion or a free seminar that you have been invited for. Go attend each one of them and you will definitely find your date somewhere along the way.

7. Become a volunteer with social welfare groups

Volunteering for social causes is an amazing thing. It not only brings out your noble qualities as a human you also get to meet equally noble people when you join a volunteering group. It is a great way of giving something back to the community and society. And volunteering is not done alone. You become a part of a group that comprises of people with varied outlooks but a similar motive. So, your chances of coming across someone ideal as your date are always there. Watch out for that girl who keeps coming back to you for your help, maybe she is interested. Be a part of such groups and stay wary of the signs.

8. Join a gym or a sports club

Fitness is something that appeals to everyone. No matter what age a person is, if you are fit, with chiselled muscles and a six-pack you are sure to win some bonus points unasked. Being a part of a fitness group or a gym increases your chances of finding someone to date manifold. Even if you are one of those obese types and not that fit, and join a gym, it is still the best place to find someone. You lose out on your muscle points but your unique charm can compensate for the rest. Be friends with the, Work out with them. Help them out with anything if they need it. And let things take its course. Again the possibilities are unending.

9. Become a part of Spiritual groups

Spirituality is one other thing that draws crowds in heaps and bounds. If you are one of those people seeking peace of mind and soul after a harrowing relationship; join a spiritual group. These groups often have people with some kind of emotional damage done to them. And to seek that damage repair, they resort to spiritual means. There is a high possibility that you come across someone who is as damaged as you are and when you two meet you mean more than just healing to each other.

10. Spread the Word.

The most common way of landing a perfect date is your common friends. Let your friends know that you are single and it will spread like wildfire. Mutual Friend to Dream Date conversion rates are too high to be true. That’s because when you are recommended by someone they know, there is automatically a certain degree of trust and comfort that comes with the recommendation. And then when you eventually meet, it just looks like a formality.


Final Takeaway

Last but never the least, finding an ideal date is like a dream of everyone. But nothing is perfect and love is no exception. Having said that dating offline is certainly the best thing to do. The idea is to open up and involve yourself more. Be a part of everything that is taking place around you. That will increase your chances of meeting someone new along the way. And when you do find someone who is worth it, do not hesitate to strike a conversation. They will be interested if you show some interest. You will never know of the possibilities if you don’t explore them. So, let that fear out and express yourself clearly. And even if you fail at first, you will get that dream date, surely.


By Sandra Fisher, 1st December 2019

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